Wow, I actually forgot what he was like for a second. He had work all weekend. We called him home early a couple nights and he didn't put up a fight. We talked about stuff without ending up in a screaming match. Silly me, I thought these might be signs of maturity. I was even starting to feel bad about his car crapping out on him this morning. I was literally online searching for a fuel pump to see if I could help him out when the school called to tell me that now he's got a girl calling in to try and check him out of class. Thankfully the Dean of Students and I are tight and he didn't recognize the number so he called me to verify.
I want to give up and cut him loose, but these stupid maternal instincts keep believing there might be hope.
Monday, March 18, 2013
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
It Could Always Be Worse
Had an interesting/disturbing phone call from the father of one of my son's hoodlum friends. Evidently his son has become increasing violent and has even threatened his father's life. This boy has always been in just a little more trouble than my kid. His anger issues were something I had heard of before, but I didn't realize it was to that extent.
Last night after my phone call with the dad I summoned my son home because he had been caught leaving school early after one of his friends called and pretended to be a parent authorizing him to check out. I already knew about this because the Dean of Students had called me. This was something we had discovered had been happening and we were trying to nip it in the bud. I mentioned this to the boy's dad and he told me he had seen my son earlier in the day with some of the other hoodlum crew. When my son told the boy that he couldn't hang out last night because he'd been caught skipping and that I was talking to his dad on the phone the boy took it to mean his dad had ratted on my son. Evidently this sent him into a furious tirade against his dad forcing his dad to contact me and my son asking us to set the record straight.
This father is currently unemployed with lots of time on his hands to really delve into the goings-on of his son and the boys he most frequently hangs with. He told me he believed that my son and the rest of the boys were dealing (at least among each other). He has come up with a genius idea of having restraining orders issued against my son and the other boys he knows that run in that little group. I honestly don't mind because I agree that together these boys make very bad decisions and nothing good will come of their continued association. I would do the same if I could. He went on and on about surveillance techniques available with cell phone technology. Again, something I would be interested in if I had the means. (and when Jr. buys his iPhone in April I will look into the GPS tracking app)
While I may be at the end of my rope with my son, while I'm forced to stand by as he races full speed off a cliff, at least when I'm awake at night it's with thoughts of where I went wrong or how I can possibly get through to him and not because I'm wondering if my kid will try and kill me in my sleep.
It's all perspective. My kid is an asshole because he won't stop smoking weed and he keeps screwing up his education. I don't like it, but I've seen how much worse it could be and I'm a tiny bit relieved. Like a minuscule amount.
Last night after my phone call with the dad I summoned my son home because he had been caught leaving school early after one of his friends called and pretended to be a parent authorizing him to check out. I already knew about this because the Dean of Students had called me. This was something we had discovered had been happening and we were trying to nip it in the bud. I mentioned this to the boy's dad and he told me he had seen my son earlier in the day with some of the other hoodlum crew. When my son told the boy that he couldn't hang out last night because he'd been caught skipping and that I was talking to his dad on the phone the boy took it to mean his dad had ratted on my son. Evidently this sent him into a furious tirade against his dad forcing his dad to contact me and my son asking us to set the record straight.
This father is currently unemployed with lots of time on his hands to really delve into the goings-on of his son and the boys he most frequently hangs with. He told me he believed that my son and the rest of the boys were dealing (at least among each other). He has come up with a genius idea of having restraining orders issued against my son and the other boys he knows that run in that little group. I honestly don't mind because I agree that together these boys make very bad decisions and nothing good will come of their continued association. I would do the same if I could. He went on and on about surveillance techniques available with cell phone technology. Again, something I would be interested in if I had the means. (and when Jr. buys his iPhone in April I will look into the GPS tracking app)
While I may be at the end of my rope with my son, while I'm forced to stand by as he races full speed off a cliff, at least when I'm awake at night it's with thoughts of where I went wrong or how I can possibly get through to him and not because I'm wondering if my kid will try and kill me in my sleep.
It's all perspective. My kid is an asshole because he won't stop smoking weed and he keeps screwing up his education. I don't like it, but I've seen how much worse it could be and I'm a tiny bit relieved. Like a minuscule amount.
Monday, March 4, 2013
S.S.D.D. (same shit; different day)
Call from school AGAIN. My son had decided that instead of skipping he just won't go. His excuse this time is that his girlfriend is home sick so he's at her house. Is it any wonder I'm breaking out all over with "stress induced eczema".
I really don't think he's going to make it. There is no way he can graduate if he doesn't go. And given his current attitude and the several talks we've had about what he needs to do and what consequences there will be (short and long term) he doesn't seem inclined to change his attitude or behavior.
I want to give up, but according to the law he can do what ever he pleases until he's 18. Evidently 17 is a magical place where parental options are limited when it comes to unruly children.
There is little consolation in knowing that I will survive this because I know that regardless of my survival the end result for him will be considerably less than what any parent would want for their child's future.
If I had the money I could send him to a 5 month youth boot camp. He has friends that went through it and are still into drugs and some have still been in trouble with the law. So the only upside is I wouldn't have to worry about him for 5 months (unless he runs away from the camp).
I could take his car. But without transportation he could lose his job (which is the only good thing he's got going for him right now).
I hate him so much lately. It's that special kind of hate that you can really only feel for someone you love with all your heart.
I give up. I'm done.
(one of these days I may actually mean that)
I really don't think he's going to make it. There is no way he can graduate if he doesn't go. And given his current attitude and the several talks we've had about what he needs to do and what consequences there will be (short and long term) he doesn't seem inclined to change his attitude or behavior.
I want to give up, but according to the law he can do what ever he pleases until he's 18. Evidently 17 is a magical place where parental options are limited when it comes to unruly children.
There is little consolation in knowing that I will survive this because I know that regardless of my survival the end result for him will be considerably less than what any parent would want for their child's future.
If I had the money I could send him to a 5 month youth boot camp. He has friends that went through it and are still into drugs and some have still been in trouble with the law. So the only upside is I wouldn't have to worry about him for 5 months (unless he runs away from the camp).
I could take his car. But without transportation he could lose his job (which is the only good thing he's got going for him right now).
I hate him so much lately. It's that special kind of hate that you can really only feel for someone you love with all your heart.
I give up. I'm done.
(one of these days I may actually mean that)
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