Wow! I've spent the morning reading through what my life was like 4 short years ago. So many tears. So much has changed. I'm happy pretty much every day. My children are doing well. I'm happily married to my first love after 26 years apart. (My ex husband gave me the best gift ever, the divorce I was too scared to ask for)
It went like this:
My son continued to destroy his life by dropping out of school, and getting arrested for felony drug possession. This time he actually went to jail (for about 18 hours), and he paid his own way out. He still smokes weed, but he's also managed to focus on a real career. And he did it himself, he asked for the job he wanted, they said he needed experience, he got a lesser job to get experience, and then went back. Now he's a certified auto tech for VW, on his way to being a master-tech. He's still with his same girlfriend, and they've been living together for 3 years. He is not financially linked to me in any way. He's done this on his own (or with help from her family).
My daughter graduated summa cum laude from University of Louisiana at Lafayette, after doing an internship with the federal probation and parole office. Shortly after graduating she got a job back in Baton Rouge with Department of Correction as a probation and parole officer. She already has case files, but can't do field work until she finishes the academy (which starts this month). Still with her same boyfriend as well.
The biggest change came in June of 2014. A couple weeks after our anniversary my children's father came home and announced he wanted a divorce. I was shocked, I was hurt, I was mad that he was able to beat me to it. I freely admit it's something I fantasized about being financially able to do for several years. Most recently after he proved to be no help in dealing with our rebellious son. He cashed in his substantial 401k, and on the advice of his friends tried to hide most of it from me. I didn't care. I just needed enough to get set up on my own, and he obliged.
I was upset for about a minute, and that was mostly fear of being on my own. But I took one of our dogs with me, Nixie. And after about a week of being on my own I found I loved it. I made friends at the dog park. I set up an OK Cupid account and went on a couple of dates. I joined a book club, and even found a church. I'm an atheist, but I've found community at a Unitarian church.
Sometime during that time, specifically 4/13/2015, I sent a FB message to someone who meant a lot to me in high school. To my surprise he responded. We started chatting online regularly. I won't share his story, that's for him to do. But we did find that whatever had been between us all those years ago still lingered. We decided to reunite in person to be sure, and it was amazing. It should have been weird. It should have been awkward. It was everything but those things. It was natural, it was comfortable. We decided that we didn't want to lose anymore time so he moved down here in September of 2015, and we were married in June of 2015.
And that's where I find myself now, immensely happy, with both of my children on their own pursuing careers. Two things I never would have thought possible 4 short years ago. Sure, the rest of the world has gone to shit, but my personal life has never been better.
I started journaling for the new year so I'm not sure how often I'll do anything with this blog, but sometimes a different kind of outlet is nice.
Happy New Year! (and I mean it this time)
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