Jenga

My sanity is like a Jenga tower. Everyday it seems that something removes another block and I teeter on the verge of collapse. And yet somehow I remain standing.

Easter was a bust. I took Braddock and Nixie (our new pit bull rescue) to the dog park. Braddock attacked another dog. It was totally unprovoked and uncharacteristic of him. I was beside myself, profusely apologizing to the couple that had the other dog. Thankfully it appeared to leave only superficial wounds on the other dogs muzzle. Just some scratches, but there seemed to be a lot of blood. I left them my phone number in case they had to take their dog to the vet. I'm hoping I don't hear from them. In hindsight I seemed to be more upset than they were. I swear I'm not a bad dog parent. I was watching Nixie like a hawk because, aside from minor interactions with other dogs at the vet and at PetSmart (where she was super playful), I hadn't seen her interact with other dogs. She did fine at the dog park. I was so excited to get to see her interact and play with puppies. She even rolled over on her back and let them climb all over her. Braddock had been to the dog park several times starting when he was just a puppy. I've never seen him instigate aggression towards other dogs. I have seen him react with aggression toward a dog that's attacked him. I don't know what has caused this change in his demeanor. He isn't aggressive towards Nixie, other than him snapping at her when she's bothering him. He even wrestles with her playfully. Only thing I can do is not take him to the dog park anymore. I still want to take Nixie though. She was having so much fun and didn't even rush to the sound of the dog fight to try and get involved. Hubby will have to plan some special one on one time with him and Braddock so I can take her without him feeling left out.

And now today. I had told my son that there would be no prom if I got another call from the school about him skipping. He did great for a week or two. Today is supposed to be the first day back from Spring Break and, even though I'd reminded him of the agreement, he ditched again. After a long, tearful (on my part), phone call and several texts back and forth he is accusing me of ruining his life, claiming he has it under control and even telling me that he's going to move out, grow up and become successful and call me and rub it in my face. Evidently he doesn't understand parenting. All I want is for him to be successful. He doesn't seem to understand how much what he is doing now will hurt him in that quest. He doesn't understand that everything I'm doing and saying to him now is only to help him achieve success, even if success is nothing more than a high school diploma and a lack of a police record.

I've told him he can't go to prom. He's told me he's going anyway. I know I can't physically stop him, but as of right now I will not help him financially. He's claimed that if I tell his girlfriend's parents that he can't go and why he will leave. And he might. I'm sure he can bounce from couch to couch for awhile, but I don't know if I'm ready to take it to that point yet. I'm really at a loss. I don't know what, if anything, I can do that will make any difference. I've told him if he moves out we'll take him off the insurance and take back his car and cancel his phone. I don't know how much of that is an idle threat because he needs his car for work, and right now that's the only thing he's got going for him.

I keep saying I'm done. That I'm just going to let him do what he's going to do and he'll just have to deal with the consequences. One day maybe I'll mean it.